She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I know her cup size but not her name....
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
