i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize