32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
