the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
