I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
