Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Welp...herpes.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
