the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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