I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
