i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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