dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
