Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The adults are the big ones right?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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