Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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