So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
3 2 1 whiskey
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
