Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
