new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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