I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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