Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
