I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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