so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
