anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
