She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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