we have officially lost it.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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