I will die if light touches me.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
