i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
