Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
