You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
