never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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