so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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