he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
