I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
