i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Rumble strips road head = magical
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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