We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
