I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
