she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
