I want to make a zoo with you.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
