My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
