I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
