You're my little dorito
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
