Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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