I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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