Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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