It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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