So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
