so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
