Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
