Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
