Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
