some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
