I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
