Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
