but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
