brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
