Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
