well I can't set my house on fire every night
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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