So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
