Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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