Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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