Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
