Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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