So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
