my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
