Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
