no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
