This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
