high people should be assigned attendants
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
