Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
