No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
